Tuesday, June 25, 2013

And the depression kicks in

So, just over three months out and the depression kicks in. We finished all the invitations and dropped them off at the Post Office Sunday night. I totally did not consider that the invitation was too large or was over an ounce. The lot got sent back, some of them with postage due stamps. That was the straw that broke my back.

I had already been battling feeling down from the time we started our guest list. My idea of the perfect wedding? Only close friends and family that we see and encounter in our daily lives. Well, that didn't last long. The list doubled in size as we added on people who we were asked to. Extended family, people I have never heard of before, once-was-friends and aquaintances who heard it through the grapevine and informed us how much they were looking forward to invitations... I fight crying over that fact every few days. I try to let it go and be reassured that even though I will be uncomfortable, my guests will be having a blast playing catch-up and hitting on their barly-known dates. Some days I want to say forget it all and do one of two things- give the ring back (that only lasts for a second) or elope. Unfortunately both of those options are out. My mother would never forgive me and neither will my future MIL.

Then the bridal party. Sigh. We tried to be lax in dress code, giving a fee rules and lettinf them find what was comfortable. Now it's just getting costumey with one of the maids wanting fairesque makeup. I'm doing my best to be polite and diplomatic, but inside I am screaming. To top that off? One of the maids was selected basically for family politic reasons.

Also, we are three months out and I still havent gotten any solid answers from the church other than the date being confirmed.

And then! I keep getting the push from other people on how I should be doing things. How to decorate, what to do with the cake, etc.

But yeah, the envelopes today and as I was trying to ask for clarification but was repeatedly being talked over finally broke me. Today was supposed to be a day off of work loaded with fun DIY projects. I'm curled up in bed having a pity party instead. Anybody needs me just look for the buried, sobbing mess clutching her stuffed lion.

~Lion

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